F#*!
There's a word I can't get out of my head. It's been popping up for over a month now. Things fall out of place and BAM! There it is. It's a four letter word, that's for sure. It's a word I wish my children had never learned. Hell, I wish *I* had never learned it.
The word? FAIR.
We've all heard our children say it. We've probably said it a million times. We know we shouldn't. And yet it's such a foundational word, especially for this up and coming generation. Fair.
It's not fair. That just isn't fair. What's fair about that? Absolutely nothing, that's what.
I love my therapy and the skills group I attend weekly, if only because I've learned just how damaging of a four letter word FAIR really is. If I can eliminate it from my vocabulary, I'll be an entirely happier and far more content person. But right this second, I'm up to my eyeballs in "it's not FAIR!!"
See, there are people in this world who care about others. There are people who, even in situations where they are fully within their rights to be angry and hostile, simply refuse to do so. There are people who think about others before they speak/act. And there are people who insist on being fair to others, even when they can never expect the same in kind. And then...there are people who don't.
Words should never be weapons. Manipulating people because you know you can is horrible. Manipulating people who have no way of knowing you would do that is a special kind of asstastic. I don't understand people like that. I don't think I ever will.
Then again, it's not necessary for me to understand them. Because even if I rid one from my life, others will spring up. I suppose what I'm realizing is this: it doesn't HAVE to be fair. Even if it's the worst possible version of awful, there's not a damn thing I can do about someone else's motivation and resulting behavior. They are what they are and if they cross my path I realize, I know I have only one single acceptable choice.
I can choose to be the "fair" one.
3 comments:
As one from a generation beyond yours, I can't begin to promise that continuing to be the "fair" one will eventually lead to fairness...it's about who you want to be Lovey...in my mind, that's the (only true) payoff.
To this day, I struggle not to use that "f" word. Fairness is the last of the bad emotions hanging on with regard to my divorce and wow, it's a toughie to shake.
Sometimes life is not fair. I've told myself that. I've told my ex-wife that. And I've told my daughter that. You are right that it's a word that maybe should be replaced or forgotten, since it's kind of a cop-out in many ways. Over the last few years, I've not remembered too many times I've used it. I've been trying to be more honest and encouraging, telling myself and others to do their best to overcome obstacles in life rather than focus on just accepting the facts.
Post a Comment